Lady Gaga reveals her biggest fear and how she's overcome it

No one wants to experience loneliness, and no job is more isolating than being a pop star. Just ask Lady Gaga.

Her rise to fame in 2009 and 2010 was unlike anything the public had seen before. As one of the first pop stars to truly embrace the power of the internet, she was constantly in the public eye, with paparazzi photos and gossip blogs tracking her every move.

The public's insatiable appetite for stories about her led to a whirlwind of attention. In a span of just three years, she cycled through so many looks and sounds that one critic remarked she was rapidly going through Madonna’s entire career.

As her fame grew, the headlines became even more bizarre: from claims of a satanic ritual in a London hotel to rumors that she was secretly a hermaphrodite or had plans to cut off her own leg “for fashion.”

When she arrived at the 2010 MTV Awards in a dress made entirely of meat, people missed the point: she was presenting herself as fodder for the tabloids, existing to be consumed by the public.

On stage, she was adored by her fans, the "Little Monsters," but anyone who isn’t a megalomaniac knows that this kind of idolization is a fleeting and distant illusion.

In a 2017 documentary, Five Foot Two, Lady Gaga confided in her stylist, explaining how every night she transitioned from being surrounded by people touching her and talking to her, to an eerie silence. Her words painted a picture of the loneliness she experienced despite being constantly in the spotlight.

Now, at the age of 38 and happily engaged to tech entrepreneur Michael Polansky, Lady Gaga openly reflects on those years of solitude. She admits that during that time, she feared facing life alone. The turning point came when she met Michael, and she considers him the greatest gift in her life.

Together, they have navigated the chaos, and the love and companionship they share have allowed her to face challenges in a new way. Their relationship began in 2020, and they publicly announced their engagement during the Venice Film Festival in September of the following year. Gaga wore her million-dollar engagement ring for the first time in public during the event.

The ring is breathtaking, featuring a massive oval-cut diamond set on an 18-karat white and rose gold pavé band. However, the more special ring is the one on her other hand, a smaller, understated piece featuring blades of grass encased in resin.

This gesture was the result of a deeply romantic moment when Michael asked her what she’d want for a proposal. She replied that a simple blade of grass wrapped around her finger would make her happy.

This simple, heartfelt moment came with emotional significance. Gaga's backyard in Malibu had previously been the location for her close friend Sonja Durham's wedding before Sonja tragically passed away from cancer in 2017.

Reflecting on her own engagement, Gaga noted the bittersweet emotions of joy intertwined with loss. She shared that the proposal was a reminder of everything that had led her to this point in her life.

These complex emotions inspired a track on her latest album, Mayhem. In the song, titled Blade of Grass, Gaga sings about a “lovers’ kiss in a garden made of thorns,” which represents the beauty of love during difficult times. She described it as a "thank you" to her partner.

Mayhem marks Gaga’s full return to pop music after taking a hiatus to focus on film and experiment with jazz and classic American music.

According to her, it was Michael who pushed her to dive back into pop. He encouraged her to create music that made her happy, which led to a return to her earlier musical roots.

She spoke about how Michael had seen the fire in her while on the Chromatica tour and wanted to help her maintain that energy.

The album features a return to the punchy sounds of Gaga's early hits like Poker Face, Just Dance, and Born This Way. Her latest single, Abracadabra, even revisits the catchy "roma-ma-ma" nonsense from Bad Romance, though this time with a darker twist, referencing death.

In the album’s artwork, Gaga's face is reflected in a shattered mirror, symbolizing her internal struggles. She even faces earlier versions of herself in the accompanying videos, signaling her reckoning with the public persona she created.

On the track Perfect Celebrity, Gaga sings about becoming a "notorious being," a lyric that, much like her meat dress, strips away her humanity.

In interviews, she has admitted that she created this public persona of Lady Gaga but found it challenging to reconcile the two parts of herself — the public figure and the private individual.

Over time, she realized that it’s healthier to integrate both aspects and accept herself as a whole human being, rather than splitting her life into two distinct parts.

Gaga also reflected on her journey of reclaiming ownership of her music. Early on, others tried to take credit for her sound and image, but she came to realize that all of her creative ideas — her vision of pop music — came from her. Mayhem represents her reclaiming her artistry, her inspirations, and her career.

After years of focusing on her music, Gaga found herself reconnecting with her fans in spontaneous ways. Last summer, after performing at the Olympics opening ceremony, she played early demos of her new music for fans in Paris who had gathered outside her hotel.

This was part of her effort to return to the unfiltered, authentic connection she had with her fans in the early days of her career.

Lady Gaga concluded her thoughts by expressing that the chaos of her earlier career needed to end. With Mayhem, she wanted to close that chapter, stepping away from the icon she had become. "It ends with love," she said, reflecting on how her life and music had finally come full circle.