The monster I hid: A son’s journey from shame to redemption

A son was so ashamed of his mother—who had only one eye—that he hid her from the world and refused to let her attend his graduation.

Most people didn’t even know Derek Ryder had a mother. When his friends talked about their parents, Derek just stayed silent. He never invited any friends over to play video games or watch movies.

In fact, from elementary school through his senior year of high school, no one had ever set foot in Derek’s house. When he started dating a girl, he would say, “Look, babe, my mom is really religious and weird; she won’t let me go out with anyone…” — but it was all a lie to avoid introducing her.

The harsh truth was Derek was embarrassed by his mother. He didn’t want people to know she looked like a monster, as if straight out of a horror movie. Derek’s mother had only one eye, and the left side of her face was covered in scars.

Gail Ryder had been like that for as long as Derek could remember. As a child, he barely noticed — she was just his mom — but as he grew older, he began to see how people reacted to her.

His mom wasn’t like other people, he realized. His mom was UGLY. On the first day of school, he saw other mothers shy away in fear, even though his mother wore huge dark glasses and a hat.

“I don’t want you walking me to the school entrance, Mom!” he told her that night. “I can go in by myself.”

“But honey, all the other moms walk their kids to class... and you’re still little!” Gail replied.

“You’re a MONSTER!” Derek yelled. “I heard Bobby’s mom say that, and now everyone will say I’m a monster too!”

From that day on, Gail never went inside the school again. She would drop Derek off and leave, tears running down her right cheek. Her son was ashamed of her, and it broke her heart.

For Derek, everything was fine as long as Gail stayed out of his public life — he pretended she was a recluse, a religious fanatic, anything to keep people from knowing the truth.

But when graduation came, Derek faced a problem. He had been named valedictorian, and the principal gave him a pat on the back. “I hope we finally get to meet your mother,” he said. “I want to congratulate her personally.”

His mother? Derek couldn’t bring his mother to graduation! Everyone would know! But what could he do? That night, he found an agency that represented background actors and hired an actress to pretend to be his mother.

The woman he chose was the perfect image of the mother he’d always wanted: pretty, kind, no scars. Derek carefully taught her how to dress and what to say, and arranged for his “fake mom” to pick him up at home.

When Gail saw Derek in his graduation gown, she gasped. “Derek! Is it today? Give me a moment to get dressed!”

“Get dressed?” Derek asked.

“Yes, to go to your graduation, sweetheart!” Gail replied.

“You’re not going!” Derek said coldly. “I’ve spent my whole life hiding you. Do you think I want you showing your ugly face on the most important day of my life?”

Gail’s single eye filled with tears. “Derek,” she whispered, “How can you be so cruel?”

“Face it, Mom, you’re a monster, okay?” Derek shouted. “I’ve been ashamed of you my whole life. I hired someone to replace you, do you get it now?”

Gail turned pale. She nodded. “Oh, my son,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry...” But Derek turned his back and left the house. Two weeks later, he went to college in California.

Derek never contacted his mother again, but ten years later, he was informed she had passed away. Her friends organized the funeral, but she had left Derek her house and a considerable inheritance.

A considerable inheritance? Derek was stunned. It was true his mother had paid for his college education, sending checks every month along with letters Derek never read, but he hadn’t imagined there was much more left.

So Derek returned home and met with his mother’s lawyer, Terry Arlington.

“Mr. Ryder, your mother left you nearly \$700,000, plus the house, which is valued at over \$1.5 million…”

“But… I don’t understand!” Derek exclaimed. “My mother lived modestly… I think her father left her nothing…”

“It was the insurance and the settlement, of course,” Arlington said. “You probably know about that, don’t you?”

“No!” Derek said, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Mr. Ryder, when you were three years old, you approached a strange dog in the park. When your mother saw it, she threw herself between you and the animal,” Arlington explained. “As a result, she was badly attacked, lost an eye, and was scarred for life.”

“But… it could have been me…” Derek whispered, tears in his eyes.

“I’ve always considered your mother one of the bravest and most selfless people I’ve ever known, Mr. Ryder, a true hero,” Arlington said gently. “She must have been very proud of you.”

Derek left with those words ringing in his ears. He walked to the cemetery, found his mother’s grave, and knelt, tears running down his face.

“Oh Mom,” he whispered. “You saved me, and I was so cruel to you… Forgive me…”

From that day on, Derek vowed never to hide his past. He found one of the few photos of his mother wearing her big glasses to hide the scars and placed it on his desk.

Every time he looked at it, he remembered her sacrifice and kindness — and how selfish and cruel he had been.

What can we learn from this story?

Be proud of your mother and father, no matter who they are or how they look. Derek was vain and selfish, treating his mother with disdain simply because she was disfigured.

Regret is a burden the cruel carry their entire lives. When Derek discovered his mother was mutilated saving him, he never forgave himself for his cruelty.